A Man's Story of Regret

Over twenty-five years ago, I made a decision that has haunted me ever since. You see, I had gone through a divorce and was not able to have custody of my three girls. This caused me a lot of pain, bitterness and anger.

Only being with them every other weekend was almost more than I could bear. Instead of seeking God’s face, I chose friends and parties. I left all the praying and building a relationship with God to my mom. I knew she was on her knees daily praying on my behalf. She was praying that God would have mercy on this prodigal son.

I was living life to the fullest when I met and started dating my future wife. We had talked many times about not having any children and she agreed with me. As you probably have already guessed, she became pregnant, and I began the campaign that was right in line with what the Great Deceiver (Satan) wanted. I felt that it was ok to abort my unborn child. I actually believed the lies that the child really did not exist unless it was born. I finally wore my wife down and we had the abortion.

Mom’s prayers were finally answered when God convicted our hearts, and we rededicated our lives to Him and began serving Him. However, God was not though dealing with us for the decision we had made. You see, I had pushed the experience of the abortion deep into my subconscious. In fact, my wife and I never talked about what I pushed her to do. I have since accepted full responsibility for the abortion of our unborn child. God has forgiven us for what we did, but to this day I have flash backs and tearful regrets.

A prevailing thought is that men are immune from grief after abortion. However, many men do experience emotional distress and regret after an abortion decision. Whether immediate or years later, the Restoration Ministry can be a first step for those suffering from this heartbreak.